If I went to school in Florida...

...I never would have graduated. I don't understand how these students have any time to go to class and do homework amidst all the tanning, beach going, fishing, sailing, swimming, etc. Seriously, these schools with dorms right on the beach, who in the administration decided that was a good idea?

You know your in Oregon when...

Your hotel gives you walking, not driving directions to campus.

The usual "healthy" options at breakfast (wheat bread, fruit, granola) are the only options.

No one wears a raincoat in the rain.

Round on the ends and "hi" in the middle (O-H-I-O)

I've been back at home in OH for the past week, and it's been lovely. I've spent some qualilty time snuggling with my dogs, which was, let's be honest, the real reason for this visit to the Midwest. I've also enjoyed my Mom's cooking, my childhood bed (smaller than I remembered), hanging out with friends from high school, and visiting many OH schools that I haven't been to before.

However, there are a few things I forgot about OH that I simply don't enjoy. They include:
- many scary and fairly offensive billboards (examples are too horrible to include in this blog)
- poor radio reception (my choices in central OH are pretty much country or obscure 80s, ie not fun 80s)
- very long drives between places/schools through corn fields, more corn fields, and even more cornfields, ocassionally punctuated by some cows or horses (I will admit OH farm country is quite pretty in fall, though.)
-  my lack of motivation when living at home (I associate home with sleeping late, spending whole days in my jammies, and watching Bravo marathons. Not terribly conduscive to working, but I managed in the end.)

Contrastingly, the all-time best, most amazing, life-changing, unforgettable part of my OH trip has to have been the 50-something year-old man in an American flag button down, dancing on tables/VIP booths like a crazy man at a club I went to in downtown Cleveland last Friday. He is my hero. He's got moves like no one I have ever seen. I am proud to call the same city as this man home. Amen.

The one where falafel gives me a panic attack...

So today was basically the worst day ever. There wasn't one big thing that went wrong but several small ones that just pushed me over the edge. Looking back, it's a bit comical but in the moment, trust me, it was hell.

But let me back up to yesterday to give a bit of context. Yesterday started with me in my cute sundress, basking (aka sweating buckets) in the Carolina sun, and chatting with students on vintage cruiser bikes. Heaven. Yesterday ended with me in Boston having not eaten a solid meal all day, sleeping on a deflated air mattress in my friend's new apartment. Quite a contrast.

Today began with me waking up in a panic on the floor. I had a nightmare that my rental car was towed in the middle of the night and that I didn't even know what color it was or the plate number to retrieve it. Then I showered and dried off with a bed sheet. Not a towel, a bed sheet. Then I headed up to the school I was visiting and after spending $6 on the parking meter, I found out I was on the wrong campus. Found the correct campus and spent another $3 on parking, which only lasted 2 hours. The fair was fine, very slow, but fine. I found out I could get a parking pass from security to move my car to a campus lot instead of refeeding the meter. Parking pass was $10 (total spent on parking today = $19!), only to find out there were no more parking spots left in the lot.

When the fair ended I stayed on campus to get some work done until I was to meet my friend for dinner. I got lunch (cash only) on campus and ordered a falafel wrap. One would expect a falafel wrap to come with some lettuce, tabouli, tomato, yogurt sauce, hummus, something, anything in it. Nope. I got just a piece of falafel in a wrap, that's it. The falafel was the straw that broke the camel's back. I was over it all.

But that's of course not the end of the story. My friend got caught at work and didn't think she could make dinner. At this point now, I would have to fend for myself until about 1am when the friend who I was staying with would get home from work to let me back into her apartment. At that point I quit. I just got into my car and drove back to Falmouth. Literally gave up and came home for the night. I of course hit rush hour traffic, almost got run over by an ambulance, and forgot that my house keys were locked in the office. No way the gods could let me off that easy.

Three hours later, I am now home in my bed, working and watching "Princess Diaries." Much better. Let's pray tomorrow's Boston adventure part II goes better.

Sunday's Activities

So that naval history and maritime museum was $18 entery fee...fail. I went to the outlets instead, which was equally as exciting but ended up costing me more, haha. Although I have no room in my suitcase, which thankfully prevented me from buying too many things.

In other news, I saw a man on a moped trailering a Radio Flyer wagon go through a drive-through at McDonalds.

Rose Bud Thorn

I'm sure you are all familiar with the dinnertime game "Rose, Bud, Thorn," so here are the highs, the lows, and what I am looking forward to on the rest of time in the South.

Rose: There are many including seeing my shipmate and touring a brewery for free, meeting up with my CYA  provider/CC/Mountain School/it's a small world after all friend for dinner and shopping in Chapel Hill, eating Chipotle last night after going through withdrawal this summer, etc etc.

Bud: Later today I plan to visit the local maritime museum here in Charleston and explore the historic district.

Thorn: I had a near death experience yesterday while driving from Chapel Hill to Charleston. After spending hours completely out of my element, driving surrounded by nothing but cotton and tobacco fields, cemeteries, and gun shops, I really had to stop to pee. I finally saw a gas station ahead and pulled over. Bad choice. The whole place reeked of smoke, there were cigarette buts and dip all over the floors, and the bathroom was probably the most disgusting place I have ever been. I will not gross you out with the details, but I had to go so badly I couldn't wait another hour until the next gas station, so I sucked it up, donned some toilet paper mittens to protect myself, held my breath, and then got out of there as fast as I could.

And now for something completely different.

I just saw a lady changing her cat's diaper in an airport bathroom. What!?

Happy Friday, everyone.

Heart Breaker Dream Maker

I have now been to 3 fairs and visited 4 schools, and I made it safely South of the Mason-Dixon today for the beginning of my epic 3+ week trip.

Success on all fronts so far...expect in the love department. I thought y'all were slightly joking about breaking hearts doing this job. Nope, you were right, I was wrong. I've had to break 3 hearts in the past 24 hours. I feel like such a horrible person. 

1. A very tall ginger who is a rep for a Dublin study abroad program asked me out at a fair yesterday. He was sooooo Irish, I can't describe him any other way. While setting up our tables, he was super chatty and very intrigued by tall-ships (they are cool, I don't blame him). He then asked what I was doing after the fair (thank God EZ was driving back with me so I had a legit excuse) and if I wanted to go out with him afterwards. He apparently had 4 days before heading back to Dublin with nothing better to do. He even suggested I teach him how to sail for our first date. Yeah, no, sorry buddy. 

2. The kind, young, and yes, cute, Enterprise guy this evening at the airport actually fought the other girl working the counter to help me instead of the overweight jolly man behind me in line. We exchanged pleasantries about my travels and such while he rang me up and checked over the car. Then came the kicker..."So with all that travelling, you don't have a boyfriend, do you?" I can't lie to save my life, so I said no and laughed it off trying to just get in the car and leave as quickly as possible. As I pulled out of the parking lot he told me (read: yelled across the parking lot while waving frantically) what time he got off tonight in case I wanted to meet up later. Again, yeah no, sorry. 

3. I thought my hotel room key wasn't working when I went to move in my bags tonight, so I had to go back to the counter and wait forever for someone to come help me. A bell hop with a lazy eye lept to my aid, escorting me back to my room, only to find out that I was just too weak to push the handle down enough to open the door. Fail. He then proceeded to ask me out. Double fail. 

Those are my sob stories for now. I'm sure it will only get more interesting from here on out...

the one where I wander around a fancy hotel with no shoes on.

HOW TO HAVE A SUPER FUN MONDAY NIGHT.

Be wiped and just about ready to go to sleep.

Have some trash that includes food, decide it might be better off in a trashcan not in your room. Grab a key and walk down the hall to dispose of it. Return to your room, but only get a flashing red angry light from your door. Hm.

Assume you demagnetized the key. Go downstairs into the marble-floored, 4-star lobby wearing  your finest sweatpants, stained tshirt, and no shoes (classy!). Get a new key, and an escort back to the room (since you didn't have an ID to show.) New key won't work either. Have your escort call someone else to bring a magical little machine to reprogram the lock. Works, but still flashes a slightly less angry yellow light. 

Call Engineering to replace your lock battery. Have Engineering tell you that they brought the wrong type of battery, wait 20 more minutes for the right kind. Sit in your room awkwardly while Engineering fiddles with lock.

Finally have a securely locked room with functioning key. 

Go to sleep, fingers crossed that you don't have to do it all again tomorrow......

Day 1

First fair of the season. So many Vera Bradley backpacks.

Also, just a gentle reminder from my body to yours that not all fair food is good food.

I take back anything I said about loving college.

I wish it were acceptable to politely decline an offer to speak to an 8am class. So early. So so early.

I have seen sunrise every day this week. Is there some sort of early riser award for this??

WELCOME TO A LIVE LOTTO BROADCAST!

Yes dear readers, that's right. I'm going to scratch my first lotto ticket of travel season. RIGHT NOW. While I type this. Let's go.... (set the scene: since I missed actual Bingo last night, I bought the State of Michigan's finest bingo scratch off!!)

All I need is an O67......

Wah wah. Sorry friends... turns out scratch ticket bingo is as overcomplicated and unrewarding as actual bingo. No dice in Michigan.

ANYWAY.

Is this really only my third day of travel? Not the third week? Too much to process has happened already. After a brief detour to see the prosthetic leg of Santa Anna (as any good Texan would and should), I made it to Indiana and the site of my first fall fair. Hopefully this event was not an indicator of things to come. If it was, I should probably be prepared to spend half of the fall season soaking wet, holding down a tent that is trying to blow away (as well as my skirt, which was trying to do the same), and silently praying for lightning so that I can go inside. This means the second half of fall would then be moderately sunny, full of mosquitoes, and would involve a lunch of pretzels and powerade.

BUT I DIGRESS.  I have now left the Hoosier state at a comfortable distance, and have two days to cruise around Michigan in a shiny Fiat with an air conditioner that blows hot air directly on my face. Good thing it's 90 degrees out!

....Yes, I would like some cheese with that whine. IN OTHER NEWS, pros of this week: airports I always forget are surprisingly nice (shout out to Detroit and Indianapolis), a free beer at my hotel upon check-in last night (seriously, Best Western Plus is the new love of my life), a drive through the Watermelon Capital of the Midwest (no time to stop, unfortunately), and a visit to the one and only Abraham Lincoln Presidential Museum and Library. This last one is a bit indescribable, but should you ever find yourself in Springfield.... GET OUT. Quickly. But first take a stop at the museum. Worth it!

Signing off from the only part of the country in which video stores still exist,

Road Warrior Princess.

Round four.

Ends in floor right? Okay, then here we go...

As I should expect by now each new travel season brings new challenges and surprises. Today must be lucky because I have already seen plenty.

First, I saw death flash before my eyes when a semi almost collided with my bus to the airport. One lady screamed. But out expert driver swerved away. Safe.

Second, a new twist on an old story. A TSA employee hit on me while going through security. I felt so awkward about his compliments of my "beautiful eyes matching my blue scarf" and his pleas to "take (him) with (me)" that I couldn't even pack up my bag there and had to run off with my computer and liquids in hand. Luckily the new bean bags are ready to roll and I made a quick escape.

Third, a note for next time. No longer do terminal e fliers need to pack heavy snacks. There is now a burrito place in the southwest terminal. No more donuts and corn nuts for lunch! Rejoice!

More to follow once I've hit the friendly skies. Happy travels, everyone!

Local Color

While this blog centers of the trials and tribulations of business travel all across the country, I've noticed there's also a whole lotta crazy right here in our own backyard worth recounting. Behind the facade of picturesque clapboard cottages, rocky beaches, lighthouses, and lobstahs lies some pretty weird sh*t.

Here's a list I have compiled over the past week or so of the utterly ridiculous things I have seen going about my normal business here at home:

1. A grown man on a bright red Razor scooter
2. A large taxidermied rodent wearing purple Elton John glasses at a bar
3. A life-size Santa Claus statue waving from the back of a truck bed on Route 28
4. A man with mutton chops driving a completely red, white, and blue Jeep emblazoned with 'Murrica across the bumper
5. A blind man who could play guitar (which was actually pretty awesome)

These chance encounters generally made my day, and I'm sure I haven't even begun to scratch the surface of the hilarity that is this town. Anways, I just urge my fellow RWPs and myself to truly appreciate this crazy place we call home before we head out soon into the big bad world that is fall travel season!

My feet aren't ready to give up flip flops.

It's been 4 months since we shared our travel adventures.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how much did you miss us? You can be honest. Like, 12? 13? I know it's been hard.

Seriously though, fall travel is looming and I am concerned about a lot of things. Like, how my muscles aren't ready to tote around boxes full of viewbooks. And how I'm leaving in a few short weeks and the new French bakery STILL isn't open and I might never get to enjoy it until November. And how I know I have an outdoor fair in Texas in September to "look forward to."

ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, I think we're all a little antsy and ready to get back out in those rental cars and see the world.*

WATCH OUT AMERICA, we're headed your way.



*Midwest

Seriously

It's not funny. Stop stealing my pens!

Also, my rental car smells like terrible BO and there are crumbs everywhere. It's like oscar and cookie monster took it out for a joy ride before handing the keys to me.

Theives!

I just walked away from my table for a few minutes to refill my water bottle and some Smith punk took all my SEA pens and most of my stickers. And they didn't even sign up for the mailing list.

Straight chillin'

Since it's been over 3-weeks since my last multi-day trip, my mind has already shifted to summer office straight chillin' mode. This made for an interesting travel day.

1. First, I did not notice when I was rented a car with an expired inspection sticker. Likely not a big issue, but still I was distracted by the fact that my compact car came with power windows and one of those cool folding keys and checking the windshield to make sure I don't get blamed for another crack. I didn't notice until I was 1.5 hours into my trip..whoops.
2. I lost said car in two different parking lots on my way here.

On the bright side I had the most delicious sushi for dinner (it had mango in it!) and when I returned to my (bed bug free) hotel I found a packed jazz tap dance performance in the hotel restaurant. I can't explain why the whole town came out to this prison-like hotel to see some guy dance around on piece of plywood while being accompanied by a guy on stand-up bass....but then again, why not? I don't know how it ended. I left (quickly) when the show shifted to audience participation in the form of live poetry. Sorry I didn't take a video.

I was about to say that the Yaris is the new Aveo,

... but then I got an Aveo last night, and realized it is still in a class of its own.

ACTUAL SILENT* CONVERSATIONS I HAD WITH MY RENTAL CAR YESTERDAY:

1. Me: "Hey, I think I'd like to go a little faster."
Aveo: "NO."
Me: "But, I just want to go the speed limit! Just a little faster?"
Aveo: (SHAKES)
Me: "FINE. 55 it is."

2. Me: "Man, that Yaris I had this week was pretty terrible."
Aveo: "Hey, at least it had power locks!"
Me: "Good point."

3. Me: "I'd really like to go ahead and put the cruise control on for this long, straight, midwestern highway!"
Aveo: (LAUGHS)
Aveo: (SHAKES)

4. Me: "How about some music!"
Aveo: "...scanning..... COUNTRY!"
Me: "No...."
Aveo: "....scanning..... COUNTRY!"
Me: "no...."
Aveo: "....scanning..... CHRISTIAN ROCK!"
Me: "NO...."
Aveo: "....scanning.... COUNTRY!"
Me: "perfect."

5. Me, after stopping at a rest stop: "OK, time to get back on the road! Let's just turn the car on..."
Aveo: "ALARM ALARM ALARM ALARM"
Me: "NO! STOP IT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I ALREADY TURNED THE CAR ON. WHY IS THE ALARM GOING OFF? How do I stop it? There's not even an alarm button!"
Aveo: "ALARM ALARM ALARM ALARM RAAAAADIOOOOOOOO"
Me: "Seriously? Is this a joke? Stop."
Aveo: "Just keep pushing buttons! ALARM ALARM ALARM"
Me: "People are staring. WHY WON'T THE RADIO TURN OFF?!"
(five minutes later)
Me: "I give up."
Aveo: "....silence....."

CONCLUSION:
Can I have my Yaris back?

*EXCEPTING NUMBER 5. Note that number 5 is an actual, verbal conversation on both my end and Aveo's.

FEARS

A partial list of my most strange, subconscious, or completely irrational travel fears (there are many more, don't worry):

1. Opening a hotel closet to find a dead body or something else horrifying 

2. Someone else taking my bag off the carousel, and me being unable to find it or make the airline find it*

3. Having a child in the seat in front of me throw up and having it get on my stuff on the floor**

4. Locking my keys in a rental car in some strange, out of the way place***

I do not know who thought it was a good idea to let me travel alone. I'm far too crazy.

AND NOW AN ATTEMPT TO MAKE MY FELLOW ROAD WARRIOR FEEL BETTER ABOUT THE UNFAIRNESS OF BEING SICK:

That's no fun. But know that the universe does its best to keep any of us from getting too complacent in our travel. After a relatively nightmarish flight day, just when I was calmed down, freshly showered, wearing a sundress and flip flops and walking through New Orleans so pleased with myself, the Gods of Travel shot me down with today's weapon of choice: not an illness, but a head-to-toe soak of gutter water from a passing car. FRENCH QUARTER GUTTER WATER. I'll probably be sick in another hour (so we can commiserate). 

KEEP BUYING LOTTO TICKETS AND CARRY ON.

RWP

*happened today, though thankfully within about 20 minutes, someone realized and returned it to the claim area

**actually happened to me at the very beginning of a very long flight to South America, though this was actually a fear before that incident.

***Thought this happened to me last week. Turns out I dropped the key in the parking lot in a downpour. At least had I been stuck, it would have been at the ice cream factory where I stopped for a mid-drive leg stretch. 

Unfair-ness

Why do I always get sick on trips? Seriously, can't my body wait to fall apart until I'm back in Falmouth with a normal office schedule and sick time? No study abroad ladies want to be near me now...so unfair.

VERY IMPORTANT LESSON LEARNED

DURING SPRING BREAK, arrive at the airport two hours early. IT IS COMPLETE MAYHEM HERE! I have never ever seen the Austin airport like this. Doesnt help that it is the first big day of SXSW....

This is the closest in my life I've ever been to missing a flight for reasons in my control. Like, had to beg people to skip the entire hour-long security line kind of close. Aaaaahhhh LATE AT THE AIRPORT STRESS IS THE WORST KIND OF STRESS.

Lottery

So I haven't been doing a good job of playing the states lottery. So to make up for it I bought 3 tickets in Oregon. But then I lost on all three of then.

But then I went to get a smoothie and the shop was having a scratch-off-ticket promotion in which you could win free smoothies for a year. Of course I didn't win the big prize...but I did get a dollar off my next purchase.


It  has been very nice here this week, sunny and in the 50/60's (which is essentially summer weather in Oregon). I was ready to go shopping for shorts but then luckily it started raining again today...I need to save that money for .20 cent hot wings at the Landfall this summer.

Newsflash!

I HAVE DISCOVERED THAT WAFFLES SHAPED LIKE TEXAS ARE A THING THAT EXISTS.

If you are even sort of my friend, you know what to get for my birthday. TEXAS WAFFLE IRON. I promise to have a fun brunch as a result.

But I am trying to give you money.

This school's post office only takes "Tiger Bucks."

Tiger Bucks are not real money. This is a post office. I... I don't understand. Do I have to leave campus to mail a 64 cent package?? Does the federal government know about this?

ADDENDUM: I now I have a fear that I won't be able to eat today because I don't have any fake money! I HOPE THAT IS NOT TRUE.

the one where I hate majic 95.5

So, shout out to my fellow Road Warrior for obtaining some rental upgrade coupons for me! I decided this trip was the ideal time to use one, since I had to drive all over the state of texas for 8 days. As soon as I heard the word "Yaris" out of the agent's mouth at the airport, I pulled that bad boy out. And then, after she gave me the upgraded car, she asked how often I traveled. When I told her, she handed the coupon back to me. "You sound like you need this." OH YES. BEATING THE SYSTEM WITH A LITTLE HONESTY, and a touch of pity. I totally deserved it after waiting in line for 30 minutes because a cute but awkward little Japanese businessman who spoke pretty much no English was trying to rent a car and then was unhappy with the rate they were offering him.

BUT THEN IT CAME BACK TO BITE ME. I settled in to my fancy little car, with a fancy little dashboard on which I couldn't figure out how to do anything. Somewhere around the exit to my parents' house I finally realized that I wasn't just an idiot, but that in fact the stupid radio barely worked at all. So, I am in the live music capital of the world, and yet, the only stations I can pick up are Mix 94.7 and Majic 95.5. And there is not even a way to manually tune to a station. SERIOUSLY? Depending on time I am totally going to stop on my way to San Antonio and try and swap that baby out. I have way too far to drive to deal with easy listening the whole way. Maybe they'll upgrade me again, and I'll slowly work my way up to a full-size SUV by next week.

SO ANYWAY, a few brief days in Texas and I already

A) have an awkward v-neck sunburn
B) got to fly kites at the nation's oldest kite festival
C) have eaten almost all of my meals outside JUST BECAUSE I CAN
D) planned a Rodeo Austin adventure (NOTE: I ALMOST DECIDED TO GO SEE ZZTOP AT THE HOUSTON RODEO INSTEAD, BUT DECIDED I COULDN'T POSSIBLY DO THAT ALONE)
D) Had a catch-up session with one of the stars of my senior film, and learned about some good local drama and also that nothing ever really changes here, in a good way
E) have done  most of my work outside, on my parents' deck, in SHORTS.


The hipsters are slowly starting to increase in number due to SXSW starting next week. I'm missing almost all of the festival, but plan to at least schedule some solid people-watching.

LET THE RECORD SHOW: the south is amazing.

Road Warrior

I just survived a 21-hour work day. And I only had to eat dinner 3 times to stay awake for it.

Where is my award?

this is not an exaggeration.

I AM SO EXCITED TO BE GOING TO THE SOUTH THAT I MIGHT NOT SLEEP UNTIL SATURDAY.

Mainly because I have tickets Saturday night to see a live comedy show/mocking of Con Air at the Alamo Drafthouse. I LOVE THE DRAFTHOUSE, AND HATE NICOLAS CAGE. This is going to be perfect. Though, I was sad that I cannot participate in the PeeWee's Big Adventure Bike Drive-in, since I don't have a bike at home. OH WELL.

More importantly: I can pack dresses and flats instead of boots and tights! High of 75, you make professional clothes so much  more fun!

Happy leap day! I hope there is a nice 64-year-old lady having a raging Sweet 16 party today!

Amish Haven

Lancaster County, PA. Amazing.

That is all I can say.

On a cold, rainy morning I saw 5 buggies and 1 horse-powered plow. None of them waved back though.

It's like being in a real-life museum. I wish I could meet one...they would take me for a buggie ride after I got dressed up in an appropriate Amish outfit and snacked on a soft-pretzel. Maybe I'd even learn how to make a chair or something useful.

Note to self

Never change a password in the dark. No matter how urgent your computer insists it is. You will put in a crazy misspelling and have to spend 45 minutes trying to log in the next morning.

SMOOTHIE SLEUTH!

For two hours today, I watched students coming around the same corner clutching smoothies. Obviously an investigation had to be launched. I  WALKED THROUGH THE WHOLE BUILDING, and there were no smoothies to be found. Where were they coming from?! It was just cruel.

Important question: what colors of tights would you consider unprofessional? Any? Or does it all depend on outfit context?

MICHIGAN FACTS: in the state of Michigan, it is literally impossible to move into the left lane of a highway without being immediately tailgated by a large, white Ford truck. TRUST ME, I DID THE RESEARCH.

FUN TRAVEL FACTS:

- Broke up my big drive-across-Ohio day with a stop at the worlds largest horseshoe crab followed by one to the museum which donated said horseshoe crab to its current location (a baptist church) ... THE CREATION MUSEUM! This one's been on my bucket list ever since they announced they were building Noah's Ark (still in concept stage) and also since visiting a Bible theme park in Argentina. It was an enlightening experience (pun both intended and not intended. if that's possible.) So many dinosaurs!

- COMPLETE BRAIN FART: this afternoon, managed to misplace a folder containing all of my important paperwork from this trip. Spent an HOUR retracing my steps and trying to figure out where I could have possibly left it (by this point, it's pouring rain.) Made it back to the car only to find said folder, soaking wet, tucked under my windshield wiper. Realized Genius Me left in on my trunk earlier in the day when rearranging some of my bags. Add "important papers" to the frighteningly lengthy list of things I have left sitting on the trunk of a car. This list already includes but is not limited to: bocce ball set, water bottle, laptop. (yes, LAPTOP. and keep in mind these are all items I actually drove around with ON THE TRUNK OF MY CAR.)

I think it's time to go home. SEE YA SOON, BAY STATE.

ice badgers.

Things That Happened Today.

1. My table was smack in the middle of what was definitely an athletic recruiting event. I watched high school football players and their anxious parents schmooze college athletics staff for an hour or so. A lot of DVDs of player highlight reels were exchanging hands. I considered slipping one of our DVDs into the mix, but I didn't get a chance. Also, I probably would've been caught as I think it was pretty obvious that I wouldn't be making the football team. I heard one coach say as the kids walked away, "look at the muscles on that one." um.

2. On the other side of my table, 2 college kids were selling ugly sweaters (I'm sorry, Cosby Sweaters), for a good cause. Oh yes, they are trying to start Cosby Sweater Mondays! Wear a hideous sweater from Goodwill to support community service. That's something I can support! I went back to buy one later and they were gone. OH WELL. For the record, if I were still in college, EVERY DAY WOULD BE COSBY SWEATER DAY.

3. I passed something called the  "white tailed deer hall of fame museum." I saw it on my way to campus but didn't have time to stop, and on the the way home, there weren't signs from the other direction and I passed it. OH NO. next time. NEXT TIME.

4. There are huge chunks of ice all over main street. At first I though they were simply huge deathbricks that had fallen off of the roofs of local businesses. Then I passed one shaped like a badger. So, apparently they're art, melting art. Most of them are too far gone to identify, but I definitely saw a badger and maybe also a camel. A little research reveals this: http://www.annarbor.com/events/ice-carving-extravaganza/. HOLY MOLY YOU GUYS, U OF M HAS AN ICE CARVING TEAM!!! A) this is definitely how I should use my chainsaw skills post-americorps, and B) I went to the wrong college.

So, things have been up after a bit of a debacle getting here (OVER YOU, US AIRWAYS. Done.)

I take back the nice things I said about you, campus.

What college snack bar/lunch counter doesn't take cards OR have an ATM near by? I spent all my cash on Indian food last night, and it appears my punishment is to not eat lunch until 2:00. Thank God I keep emergency fruit leathers in my purse at all times!

You make my life a little easier.

Shout out to all those colleges out there who have friendly, simple guest parking systems. No complicated paperwork, no garages where I won't be able to find my car in two hours because it's huge and I don't remember what my car looks like, no attempts to parallel park on snow banks. Just a hello, and a "park anywhere in that huge open lot right next to your destination."

I SALUTE YOU.

In other news, I think this GPS is up to something. It is weird and I refuse to trust it.

There is a dj at this fair playing techno remixes of popular radio music. Its giving me a strange feeling of frantic anxiety. Like I accidentally went to a club at 10 am instead of to a study abroad fair.

I miss little liberal arts schools fairs where is quiet and there is a table of organic cookies in the back.

I found more snow

Like, a lot more snow. But luckily I know all of the delicious roadside snack stops so the weather has yet to become an issue.


After a lovely trip down memory lane at my alma mater, tomorrow I will head North to the cow pastures. If my fair commitment wasn't going to last all day my number one priority would be to stalk Temple Grandin. She is so amazing HBO made a move about her.

Hydrating

As much as it makes me feel like I'm writing a shopping blog I just have to say that this water bottle might be the best thing that has ever happened to my airport experience.

Mmmm...purified water..

Endless riches!

Lotto winnings...

Mass: $1!
Wisconsin: $2!
Missouri: $4!

I LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING!

I do NOT like that I forgot to bring my winning CT ticket from fall with me today. I WANT MY $10!

Fair fashion update: green bowtie to my right, red and white bunny sweater behind me. I felt totally inadequately dressed.

Challenges

It is hard to be a (editors note: healthy) vegetarian in the airport.

That is all.

There's a monster in my bathroom.

OH WAIT, THAT'S A HAIR DRYER???

I regret giving up coffee.

Oh, Minnesota
Why are you so cold and grey?
I miss summertime.

But seriously. I am now 2/2 on staying in hotels with broken heating systems. I slept in a sweater last night. Silly me for thinking it would be warm enough inside that I would have have to bring my regular sleeping layers. On the upside I did feel like a rich old lady sleeping in a cashmere cardigan. So that was nice.

Casually observing the Twin Cities hipsters today. Apparently ironic fur is in (for example, fur legwarmers). This is fashion entertainment that New England will never be able to provide.

Biggest disappointment in all of MN: All of the hotel water-parks cost extra for admission. No way I am paying $20 for one water-slide ride.  

Low/high

At my last job, I had a love-hate relationship with "low/high", an activity we would often do (accompanied by varying degrees of grumbling) around the dinner table when people were too grumpy or hungry or eager to get to the bar to start a real conversation. Normally each person only gets one high and one low of the day, BUT THIS IS MY TRAVEL BLOG, so I can have more than one if I want.

HIGH/LOW: Wisconsin edition.

Low: driving from green bay to Madison in the dark, on snowy unplowed roads.

High: arriving in Madison and realizing I would spent 5 NIGHTS in the same bed.

Low: taking over an hour each way to get to our weekend cross country skiing location (10 miles away) because SOMEONE got lost.

High: only falling twice and actually enjoying myself.

Low: ripping staples from and hanging drywall on my sisters bedroom ceiling.

High: ripping staples from and hanging drywall on my sisters bedroom ceiling.

Low: getting to Appleton too late to see the Harry Houdini exhibit in the Castle.

High: knowing a Houdini exhibit exists in a castle in Appleton.

Low: being tricked into playing a four hour game of Battlestar Galactica.

High: sort of starting to understand the rules, and totally knowing who the cylons were, even if no one believed me.

Low: arriving to Beloit early and hearing "calling all angels" on the radio (a sign surely), only to discover THE ANGEL MUSEUM IS CLOSED UNTIL MARCH. Shut up. REALLY NOT COOL.

High: a surprisingly beautiful day in southern Wisconsin, and like 15 kinds of cereal in the dining hall. This is not an exaggeration.

Low: eating too much dairy.

High: EATING SO MUCH DAIRY.


So many adventures, and two whole days left! If my whole travel season is like this, I will not survive

so, so cold.

HEY GUYS, I FOUND WINTER! It was hiding in Wisconsin with all the good cheese.


Perks of staying in Extended Stay hotels:

- free popcorn in my room microwave!
- a DVD lending library!
- Paul Rudd in Parks and Rec on my TV! (ok, this is a universal benefit to staying anywhere. amazing.)
- Pantry full of snacks, drinks, and "sundries" downstairs, all paid on the honor system!
- free laundry!
- extra strange people wandering around!
- dishtowels!

That's pretty much it.

Hopefully these things make up for my getting-to-the-airport debacle this morning, and my subsequent inability to buy an Indiana lotto ticket.

correction

AN OFFICIAL RETRACTION:

I would like to apologize to the aforementioned 4:20am bus. Without my early bus and flight, I would have been on a slightly later flight which was subsequently cancelled due to weather. As far as I can tell, "weather" means "no snow, no rain, just some slightly apocalyptic winds" .... thank God I am not driving an Aveo (they actually tried to give me a minivan.... missed opportunity?)

The local news just informed me that I can expect "plunging temperatures" tomorrow.

More importantly, what's the deal with plane de-icer? I've never really paid attention before, but something seems seriously wrong with it being common practice to just slather planes in green chemical slime and let it go wherever. Maybe this is just the paranoid Groundwater Guardian in me talking, but it made me feel guilty.

AND DON'T WORRY, MY HOTEL'S INTERNET CONNECTION WAS GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME TO SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETE THE JEOPARDY TEST. Now all I have to do is sit by my phone and wait for Alex to call......

An ode to 4am buses.

SEVEN THINGS I WOULD RATHER DO THAN HANG OUT AT LOGAN AIRPORT AN HOUR BEFORE SUNRISE:

1. See New Year's Eve.
2. Drive across Ohio.
3. Play indoor blacklight mini golf again.
4. Clean my whole house, and then someone else's house, and then a stable.
5. Eat mayonnaise.
6. Wear leaky waders in January.
7. Buy Crocs.

So it begins...(again)

As I drove north yesterday I saw no less than 25 road signs telling me to "Plan ahead, winter storm warning." But being the intrepid traveler I am, I continued on to Vermont feeling like one of those storm chaser extreme weather reporters.

As expected, the snow arrived last night. It took me 45 minutes to get from the parking lot of my hotel to Dartmouth (a 7 mile drive). Sometimes I hate New England. I'm sure I would this this is beautiful if I had a personal driver. Maybe next time.

Other recent disappointments include a broken TV in my hotel room, no hair dryer, and a hotel breakfast that was so pathetic I opted for grocery store pop-tarts instead. This must be the travel gods testing me - preparing me for the season.

I'm glad I packed my snow boots. Wish me luck escaping this blizzard in the tin sedan I rented yesterday.

ARE YOU READY?

A PRE-DEPARTURE EXERCISE REGIME:

- 50 lunges while holding a stack of 75 viewbooks

- Relay race with brochure hand-off

- Two mile run with fully-loaded suitcase, one broken wheel  for added challenge
- 15 repetitions of the process of preparing to go through security (remove laptop, remove shoes, unzip jacket, reverse), timed to under 30 seconds each way.
- One hour of airplane yoga, twice a day.
- 30 minutes of strengthening exercises for driving leg, 3 times daily. Alternate with exercises for primary lifting-into-overhead-compartment arm.

Combine with a diet of Midwestern foods (primarily cheese curds), ample lattes, and free cold sandwiches slathered in mayonnaise. Sleep on a different mattress each night, first checking thoroughly for bedbugs.