I was about to say that the Yaris is the new Aveo,

... but then I got an Aveo last night, and realized it is still in a class of its own.

ACTUAL SILENT* CONVERSATIONS I HAD WITH MY RENTAL CAR YESTERDAY:

1. Me: "Hey, I think I'd like to go a little faster."
Aveo: "NO."
Me: "But, I just want to go the speed limit! Just a little faster?"
Aveo: (SHAKES)
Me: "FINE. 55 it is."

2. Me: "Man, that Yaris I had this week was pretty terrible."
Aveo: "Hey, at least it had power locks!"
Me: "Good point."

3. Me: "I'd really like to go ahead and put the cruise control on for this long, straight, midwestern highway!"
Aveo: (LAUGHS)
Aveo: (SHAKES)

4. Me: "How about some music!"
Aveo: "...scanning..... COUNTRY!"
Me: "No...."
Aveo: "....scanning..... COUNTRY!"
Me: "no...."
Aveo: "....scanning..... CHRISTIAN ROCK!"
Me: "NO...."
Aveo: "....scanning.... COUNTRY!"
Me: "perfect."

5. Me, after stopping at a rest stop: "OK, time to get back on the road! Let's just turn the car on..."
Aveo: "ALARM ALARM ALARM ALARM"
Me: "NO! STOP IT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I ALREADY TURNED THE CAR ON. WHY IS THE ALARM GOING OFF? How do I stop it? There's not even an alarm button!"
Aveo: "ALARM ALARM ALARM ALARM RAAAAADIOOOOOOOO"
Me: "Seriously? Is this a joke? Stop."
Aveo: "Just keep pushing buttons! ALARM ALARM ALARM"
Me: "People are staring. WHY WON'T THE RADIO TURN OFF?!"
(five minutes later)
Me: "I give up."
Aveo: "....silence....."

CONCLUSION:
Can I have my Yaris back?

*EXCEPTING NUMBER 5. Note that number 5 is an actual, verbal conversation on both my end and Aveo's.