I won two dollars in the PA lottery but it was not enough to buy my love.

Next big hollywood hit?

Today I saw my first fair crasher!

Perhaps should have thought something was strange about the man handing out flyers near my table, but things were too busy to really pay attention. I DID pay attention when I had front row seats to the part where the fair organizer confronted him and then threw him out. Scandalous!

Why does megabus have wifi if you can't look at hulu, Netflix, or someecards? What else is the Internet for???

Student city

Fair yesterday: two blocks from my hotel.

Fair today: two block from my hotel in the other direction.

Why can't all colleges be this conveniently close together? Or at least the ones that I visit.

Also of note would be the frozen yogurt bar across the street from my hotel and open until midnight and the hippy (yuppie) restaurant that served me pumpkin-apple cider bisque for dinner last night so good I would have bathed in it.

Next up, my first visit to the highly acclaimed Wawa "Food Mart"!

This b&b might not be haunted

But my hostess is DEFINITELY a (friendly but slightly crazy) cat lady, and I am again the only guest.

Someone should fire me from booking hotels. NOTE TO SELF: cheap B&Bs ... CHEAP FOR A REASON! a friendly, slightly crazy reason.

Though I AM in the middle of farm country/the woods/ minutes from the aerodrome! During the summer, I could probably have seen the Red Baron from my window.... If only.

Maybe I'll start a prevention campaign.

No one should ever (EVER) have to set an alarm for 3:45am.

WHY DO 4:30 TRAINS EVEN EXIST? why????

New suitcase. This one matches my aura better, I think.

Update: Just saw that I missed a voicemail from the extremely overzealous manager from my last car rental.* After profusely apologizing for the state of my vehicle (smoky, not Illinois), he let me know they adjusted my bill to give me a 50% discount. I got that Fiat for less than it costs to rent a bicycle! (Has anyone ever thought of renting bicycles instead of cars? That sounds like a fantastic travel adventure.)

I am staying at my aunt's house, which comes complete with 4 cats. One of these is a tiny 3-month old rescue kitten named Jack. Jack likes to pounce on me when I sleep. They don't have those at La Quinta!

Today's visit was stop two on the Ingulli-McCord Family College Tour. Stop one: sister's alma mater. Today: the University where my parents met. Up next: my old stomping grounds (Hipster College). What nostalgia!

URGENT: On TV right now: Dr. Phil segment called "Majoring in Failure."

I need to get a lotto ticket ASAP! Do you think luck is different in the city than upstate?! It seems like they should count as two different states.

*Evidence for this judgement: when waiting in line, heard him say to the new guy who had put someone on hold because he didn't know the answer to a question, "I don't want people to feel like we're Comcast or something. That's not our kind of service. Please don't put people on hold."

10 things I hate about you, my Chevy Aveo rental car

I hate the way you beep at me,

and the way your bumper is scratched.

I hate the way you drive,

I hate it when your vents refuse to support my GPS holder.

I hate your dumb roll-down windows,

and your stupid non-automatic mirror adjustment.

I hate you so much every time I get you I want to cry,

and yell at the Enterprise sales lady.

I hate the way your blinker sounds,

I hate it when I have to manually lock every door.

I hate it when you get bad radio reception,

even worse when don't get any at all.

I hate you when you’re not around,

and more when you are.

But mostly I hate the way everyone else hates you,

so much that they don't take care of your either,

and that you are always the saddest car on the lot...

I hate that I never want to get you,

not even close…

not even a little bit…

not even at all.

Pennsylvania.

I tried to be flirty with the Enterprise boy to get the shiny silver fiat on the lot. Instead I just got another sad, Aveo. And then he asked me on a date after I came back to get help with my broken seat adjuster dial. Said date would begin when I returned to Enterprise after his shift so he could "show me a good time" in downtown Philadelphia.

Fail.

Big dreams, big city.

Only been in New York for about 48 hours and have already...

-occupied Wall St (for about 4 minutes)
-people-watched at occupy wall ST (for an hour)
-seen dead bodies (... At the Bodies exhibit, don't worry)
-broken my suitcase (not my fault, but I do get to go suitcase shopping tomorrow)
-seen a Jim Henson exhibit
-walked 45 minutes to find a gourmet ice cream sandwich truck (red velvet cookies w/ nutella almond ice cream?!)
-purchased purple pumas for $7 at a thrift store.

I don't think I can even work tomorrow. This has already been way too much excitement for me for one week, I should probably take some time off.

And don't you worry, I will let you know if I survive the 10-12 trains I have to take with my (hopefully new and unbroken) suitcase in the next 5 days...

Is this a joke? http://jesusween.com/

I certainly hope so.

Codoris Bavarian Gift Shop

(my favorite Organization name in Portal. I should see if we have any alums there.)

So... picked up a car last night at the airport. It smelled faintly of smoke, but not terribly. Went to get in it again this morning, and it was much worse. Breaking point was opening up a compartment to plug in my phone and finding a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. I'm not really a complainer, and I'm not picky about cars, but.... nope. No thanks. Brought that baby back today and my whining was rewarded with a candy-red Fiat. Hooray!

Bought a lotto ticket, but I seemed to have used up all my luck in Illinois. No go. BOO.

My cool Columbus guy.

No, I didn't fall in study-abroad-love with an Ohian (?) this month. That is just a lyric from the best localized version of Lady Gaga's You and I that I have heard yet. I'm 100% serious when I say they replaced all the "Nebraska"s with "Columbus." I don't know who let that happen, but I either want to hug them or punch them. Radio is weird.

Other (O)hi(o)ghlights......

I WENT TO THE HOOVER DAM!!!

Ok, well, I mean, I went to a Hoover Dam. Is it just me, or is it physically impossible to stay on the highway once you've seen a huge sign that says "Hoover Dam"? My thought process was something along the lines of.... "OH MAN! WHAT? I'VE ALWAYS THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUN TO SEE THE - wait..... isn't that..... aren't I in Ohio? That can't be right..... oh well... it's on the way....."

This attraction shared a parking lot with a Championship Disc Golf Course. Double win!

While my parking success has certainly been better than last week's (still stumped as to why a school would absolutely refuse to let me park on the basis that I am a student. SERIOUSLY, I STILL PROMISE I'M NOT A STUDENT) I am ready to get out of the giant cornfield that is Ohio. There is a certain charm to the feeling of being completely lost in the middle of nowhere and at the mercy of a possibly malicious GPS, and then suddenly ending up in the middle of a small liberal arts college. BUT, I mean, corn gets old at some point.

And don't even ask me about that Whole Foods I navigated to, only to find out it was a Baby Whole Foods with no hot bar and not much of anything else either. BOO.

Also, I feel like I need to be honest about something. Everyone thinks I'm traveling for work, but the truth is I'm really just bouncing around the country finding ice cream factories. Today, the home of Velvet, also known as Utica, OH, also known as the Ice Cream Capital of Ohio! wow.

Back in the office. I need a re-entry orientation.

Fancy Time

The "fair" I went to last night was just a cleverly disguised cocktail party.

Jazzy international music? Decorations? Mood lighting? A hot buffet? People mingling? Yeah. Cocktail party.

By the way, Enterprise gave me ANOTHER Dodge Charger, mainly because four people had returned damaged cars yesterday and it's all they had. Seriously? Is there a high demand for these things? This one is far less impressive on the inside.... which at least means I could figure out how to open the gas cap on the first try.

Mall of America is overrated

I've been in Minnesota for less than 24 hours and have already seen 8 lakes. Will I see all 10,000!??!

No wins in the lottery today, but I'm still feeling good about my $5 win in New Hampshire.

Some painful lessons I learned today:

The Starbucks Salted Carmel Mocha is terrible. Whose idea was it to put salt in coffee? And why was I so silly to think it would be good??

Not all sushi is created equally. If it seems risky...don't do it.

Never travel without a bathing suit...you might end up staying in a hotel with a sweet waterpark..

"upgrade"

When I got here two days ago, they only exactly one car left. It was a shiny, white, and oh-so-manly Dodge Charger. Not quite the compact car I asked for. Now, I have no problem with free upgrades, even when they make me feel like I'm driving a cop car. (Favorite image search result .... available at WalMart!)

But thanks to an unnecessarily overwhelming dashboard and display, it did take me almost my entire drive to my hotel (50 minutes) to figure out how to change the radio volume. Really? the ONLY place you're going to put that control is on the back of the steering wheel? Not impressed, Dodge.

Can I say though... proudest moment of my entire trip: I parallel parked that monster on a crowded street today! On my first try! About half an inch from the curb! Nothing short of a miracle.

Iowa gambling update: $1 on a scratch ticket, no-go. Redemption in the form of $1 spent at the casino (which was 10 minutes from my hotel tonight and just couldn't be passed without at least stopping in.....). After 10 minutes of playing penny slots I had $4 and decided that was all I needed. Total fall winnings: now $63. I'm buying myself something nice when this is all done.....

the midwest is just FULL of surprises. Also, ghosts.

WHAT A WEEK.

Had a couple of hours to kill before a flight out of Cleveland. What else to do but make a stop at the Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame? What can I say about it, except that it's pretty comforting to me to know that Lady Gaga's meat dress and John Lennon's handwritten lyrics to Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds are under the same roof. JUST THINK ABOUT THAT, really hard. I would also like to take this opportunity to thank my parents for never letting me listen to anything produced after about 1975 in the car until I was about 16. I think it is because of this that I was more excited about Beatles' suits and Neil Young's guitar than Britney's spangled VMA outfit. Though it WAS really sparkly.

Also, interesting thing I realized....
Number of Hall of Fame Inductees I've seen perform: 7
Number of Hall of Fame Inductees whose showers I've used: 1
Number of Hall of Fame Inductees I'm best friends with: 0. Until I make Siobhan Magnus like me and also become famous. Working on it.

ANYWAY, now I am in Iowa and alive, despite this B&B trying REALLY HARD to scare the crap out of me. Arrived late, greeted by the slightly kooky but very nice owner, with peanutbutter cookies. Good start. But then, shown to my room... which has this right outside the door.

SERIOUSLY? Heard softly playing classical music on a record player in the distance. (She asked if I wanted her to leave it on. NO. NO THANK YOU.) Whole place is decorated like it's right out of a horror movie. Pretty much had to shut the door, put on headphones, and try to fall asleep as soon as possible. Did I mention I'm the only guest?

Gets better though. I woke up this morning and realized... I'VE BEEN HERE BEFORE. No, not in a creepy deja-vue-horror-movie-way. Like, actually. I stayed in this place with my parents once. IN THE SAME ROOM. I realized I recognized the weirdo lamp and artwork on the wall. This would have been about 9 years ago. WHAT. Time warp. I hope it doesn't make me 16 and angsty. Or haunted.

Anyway, it's actually a nice place, and a lot better in the daytime. Except the creepy piano parlor, which I refuse to walk through, even in mid-day. And except for the weirdo bathroom, which features a clawfoot tub in the middle of a hardwood floor with a handheld showerhead and no curtain. I managed to "shower" this morning, but it wasn't easy, and I probably won't be attempting that again.

BUT I just found out that between my two info sessions tonight, there is the local homecoming parade! OH MAN. Small town midwestern parade.... there is no way I can miss that.

Portland Portal

Portland, Maine is like a smaller, colder, version of Portland, Oregon. In a cute way. I have noticed less hipster yuppies and yoga studios but people seem to like their craft beer, organic soups, and Prius's all the same.

They even have a river walk and boba tea! I'm in love.

last words

Tomorrow I leave for Iowa and an almost certainly haunted B&B.

If no one has heard from me by Friday, I have died at the hands of either scary ghosts or scarier innkeepers.

So... you know. Just so someone knows where I am.

If anything happens to me, I give permission for the remaining sea salt caramel gelato in my freezer to be consumed. IF this happens while I am still alive, we've got a problem. You've been warned.

oh, good gourd!

Seriously, Ohio is way too big. I know, I drove across pretty much the whole thing today, and it was mildly awful. The only two things that promised to break up this trip (Goodyear's World of Rubber Museum and Grandpa's Cheesebarn) were both closed. Unacceptable. I did get to jazz things up with a super not-depressing (JUST KIDDING, PRETTY DEPRESSING) visit to the Kent State shooting memorial. American history is so uplifting!

Silly rain kept me from my free sail on the Spirit of Buffalo this weekend. NOT COOL, RAIN. It could not, however, keep me from becoming an Official International Business Traveler.

THAT'S RIGHT. They let me into Canada this weekend. Those crazy Canucks! I did not investigate whether Canadians also love scratch tickets, but I did lose $5 at the casino! At least I got a free ginger ale. And, I have now seen Niagara Falls as an adult. American Family Vacation Dream  = REALIZED. And I didn't even have to deal with the family part! Plus I saw a guy with a chihuahua named Mandy in a pink dress. He was posing her in front of the falls. It was amazing.

Also, I selected and partially purchased my Halloween costume. Gotta be ahead of the game with all this traveling.

But let's all focus on what's really important here: THE IMPENDING RETURN OF ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT. Best day of my life? Maybe.

Hippies

You know those "Tibet Style" clothing shops that sell tie-dye and hippy print ponchos. Have you ever wondered who buys and wears such clothing? Well I found them. We are having organic tea and vegan cookies together up here in Northern Maine.

Leaf Peepin'

I always made fun of people who would come to New England to look at leaves. I mean, come on people, it just a new color of leaf. But after spending 7 hours in the car yesterday looking at just that I have come around. A little bit. Being in Maine right now just makes me want to put on a sweater and drink apple cider.