the one where I wander around a fancy hotel with no shoes on.

HOW TO HAVE A SUPER FUN MONDAY NIGHT.

Be wiped and just about ready to go to sleep.

Have some trash that includes food, decide it might be better off in a trashcan not in your room. Grab a key and walk down the hall to dispose of it. Return to your room, but only get a flashing red angry light from your door. Hm.

Assume you demagnetized the key. Go downstairs into the marble-floored, 4-star lobby wearing  your finest sweatpants, stained tshirt, and no shoes (classy!). Get a new key, and an escort back to the room (since you didn't have an ID to show.) New key won't work either. Have your escort call someone else to bring a magical little machine to reprogram the lock. Works, but still flashes a slightly less angry yellow light. 

Call Engineering to replace your lock battery. Have Engineering tell you that they brought the wrong type of battery, wait 20 more minutes for the right kind. Sit in your room awkwardly while Engineering fiddles with lock.

Finally have a securely locked room with functioning key. 

Go to sleep, fingers crossed that you don't have to do it all again tomorrow......

Day 1

First fair of the season. So many Vera Bradley backpacks.

Also, just a gentle reminder from my body to yours that not all fair food is good food.

I take back anything I said about loving college.

I wish it were acceptable to politely decline an offer to speak to an 8am class. So early. So so early.

I have seen sunrise every day this week. Is there some sort of early riser award for this??

WELCOME TO A LIVE LOTTO BROADCAST!

Yes dear readers, that's right. I'm going to scratch my first lotto ticket of travel season. RIGHT NOW. While I type this. Let's go.... (set the scene: since I missed actual Bingo last night, I bought the State of Michigan's finest bingo scratch off!!)

All I need is an O67......

Wah wah. Sorry friends... turns out scratch ticket bingo is as overcomplicated and unrewarding as actual bingo. No dice in Michigan.

ANYWAY.

Is this really only my third day of travel? Not the third week? Too much to process has happened already. After a brief detour to see the prosthetic leg of Santa Anna (as any good Texan would and should), I made it to Indiana and the site of my first fall fair. Hopefully this event was not an indicator of things to come. If it was, I should probably be prepared to spend half of the fall season soaking wet, holding down a tent that is trying to blow away (as well as my skirt, which was trying to do the same), and silently praying for lightning so that I can go inside. This means the second half of fall would then be moderately sunny, full of mosquitoes, and would involve a lunch of pretzels and powerade.

BUT I DIGRESS.  I have now left the Hoosier state at a comfortable distance, and have two days to cruise around Michigan in a shiny Fiat with an air conditioner that blows hot air directly on my face. Good thing it's 90 degrees out!

....Yes, I would like some cheese with that whine. IN OTHER NEWS, pros of this week: airports I always forget are surprisingly nice (shout out to Detroit and Indianapolis), a free beer at my hotel upon check-in last night (seriously, Best Western Plus is the new love of my life), a drive through the Watermelon Capital of the Midwest (no time to stop, unfortunately), and a visit to the one and only Abraham Lincoln Presidential Museum and Library. This last one is a bit indescribable, but should you ever find yourself in Springfield.... GET OUT. Quickly. But first take a stop at the museum. Worth it!

Signing off from the only part of the country in which video stores still exist,

Road Warrior Princess.

Round four.

Ends in floor right? Okay, then here we go...

As I should expect by now each new travel season brings new challenges and surprises. Today must be lucky because I have already seen plenty.

First, I saw death flash before my eyes when a semi almost collided with my bus to the airport. One lady screamed. But out expert driver swerved away. Safe.

Second, a new twist on an old story. A TSA employee hit on me while going through security. I felt so awkward about his compliments of my "beautiful eyes matching my blue scarf" and his pleas to "take (him) with (me)" that I couldn't even pack up my bag there and had to run off with my computer and liquids in hand. Luckily the new bean bags are ready to roll and I made a quick escape.

Third, a note for next time. No longer do terminal e fliers need to pack heavy snacks. There is now a burrito place in the southwest terminal. No more donuts and corn nuts for lunch! Rejoice!

More to follow once I've hit the friendly skies. Happy travels, everyone!

Local Color

While this blog centers of the trials and tribulations of business travel all across the country, I've noticed there's also a whole lotta crazy right here in our own backyard worth recounting. Behind the facade of picturesque clapboard cottages, rocky beaches, lighthouses, and lobstahs lies some pretty weird sh*t.

Here's a list I have compiled over the past week or so of the utterly ridiculous things I have seen going about my normal business here at home:

1. A grown man on a bright red Razor scooter
2. A large taxidermied rodent wearing purple Elton John glasses at a bar
3. A life-size Santa Claus statue waving from the back of a truck bed on Route 28
4. A man with mutton chops driving a completely red, white, and blue Jeep emblazoned with 'Murrica across the bumper
5. A blind man who could play guitar (which was actually pretty awesome)

These chance encounters generally made my day, and I'm sure I haven't even begun to scratch the surface of the hilarity that is this town. Anways, I just urge my fellow RWPs and myself to truly appreciate this crazy place we call home before we head out soon into the big bad world that is fall travel season!

My feet aren't ready to give up flip flops.

It's been 4 months since we shared our travel adventures.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how much did you miss us? You can be honest. Like, 12? 13? I know it's been hard.

Seriously though, fall travel is looming and I am concerned about a lot of things. Like, how my muscles aren't ready to tote around boxes full of viewbooks. And how I'm leaving in a few short weeks and the new French bakery STILL isn't open and I might never get to enjoy it until November. And how I know I have an outdoor fair in Texas in September to "look forward to."

ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, I think we're all a little antsy and ready to get back out in those rental cars and see the world.*

WATCH OUT AMERICA, we're headed your way.



*Midwest