I was about to say that the Yaris is the new Aveo,

... but then I got an Aveo last night, and realized it is still in a class of its own.

ACTUAL SILENT* CONVERSATIONS I HAD WITH MY RENTAL CAR YESTERDAY:

1. Me: "Hey, I think I'd like to go a little faster."
Aveo: "NO."
Me: "But, I just want to go the speed limit! Just a little faster?"
Aveo: (SHAKES)
Me: "FINE. 55 it is."

2. Me: "Man, that Yaris I had this week was pretty terrible."
Aveo: "Hey, at least it had power locks!"
Me: "Good point."

3. Me: "I'd really like to go ahead and put the cruise control on for this long, straight, midwestern highway!"
Aveo: (LAUGHS)
Aveo: (SHAKES)

4. Me: "How about some music!"
Aveo: "...scanning..... COUNTRY!"
Me: "No...."
Aveo: "....scanning..... COUNTRY!"
Me: "no...."
Aveo: "....scanning..... CHRISTIAN ROCK!"
Me: "NO...."
Aveo: "....scanning.... COUNTRY!"
Me: "perfect."

5. Me, after stopping at a rest stop: "OK, time to get back on the road! Let's just turn the car on..."
Aveo: "ALARM ALARM ALARM ALARM"
Me: "NO! STOP IT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I ALREADY TURNED THE CAR ON. WHY IS THE ALARM GOING OFF? How do I stop it? There's not even an alarm button!"
Aveo: "ALARM ALARM ALARM ALARM RAAAAADIOOOOOOOO"
Me: "Seriously? Is this a joke? Stop."
Aveo: "Just keep pushing buttons! ALARM ALARM ALARM"
Me: "People are staring. WHY WON'T THE RADIO TURN OFF?!"
(five minutes later)
Me: "I give up."
Aveo: "....silence....."

CONCLUSION:
Can I have my Yaris back?

*EXCEPTING NUMBER 5. Note that number 5 is an actual, verbal conversation on both my end and Aveo's.

FEARS

A partial list of my most strange, subconscious, or completely irrational travel fears (there are many more, don't worry):

1. Opening a hotel closet to find a dead body or something else horrifying 

2. Someone else taking my bag off the carousel, and me being unable to find it or make the airline find it*

3. Having a child in the seat in front of me throw up and having it get on my stuff on the floor**

4. Locking my keys in a rental car in some strange, out of the way place***

I do not know who thought it was a good idea to let me travel alone. I'm far too crazy.

AND NOW AN ATTEMPT TO MAKE MY FELLOW ROAD WARRIOR FEEL BETTER ABOUT THE UNFAIRNESS OF BEING SICK:

That's no fun. But know that the universe does its best to keep any of us from getting too complacent in our travel. After a relatively nightmarish flight day, just when I was calmed down, freshly showered, wearing a sundress and flip flops and walking through New Orleans so pleased with myself, the Gods of Travel shot me down with today's weapon of choice: not an illness, but a head-to-toe soak of gutter water from a passing car. FRENCH QUARTER GUTTER WATER. I'll probably be sick in another hour (so we can commiserate). 

KEEP BUYING LOTTO TICKETS AND CARRY ON.

RWP

*happened today, though thankfully within about 20 minutes, someone realized and returned it to the claim area

**actually happened to me at the very beginning of a very long flight to South America, though this was actually a fear before that incident.

***Thought this happened to me last week. Turns out I dropped the key in the parking lot in a downpour. At least had I been stuck, it would have been at the ice cream factory where I stopped for a mid-drive leg stretch. 

Unfair-ness

Why do I always get sick on trips? Seriously, can't my body wait to fall apart until I'm back in Falmouth with a normal office schedule and sick time? No study abroad ladies want to be near me now...so unfair.

VERY IMPORTANT LESSON LEARNED

DURING SPRING BREAK, arrive at the airport two hours early. IT IS COMPLETE MAYHEM HERE! I have never ever seen the Austin airport like this. Doesnt help that it is the first big day of SXSW....

This is the closest in my life I've ever been to missing a flight for reasons in my control. Like, had to beg people to skip the entire hour-long security line kind of close. Aaaaahhhh LATE AT THE AIRPORT STRESS IS THE WORST KIND OF STRESS.

Lottery

So I haven't been doing a good job of playing the states lottery. So to make up for it I bought 3 tickets in Oregon. But then I lost on all three of then.

But then I went to get a smoothie and the shop was having a scratch-off-ticket promotion in which you could win free smoothies for a year. Of course I didn't win the big prize...but I did get a dollar off my next purchase.


It  has been very nice here this week, sunny and in the 50/60's (which is essentially summer weather in Oregon). I was ready to go shopping for shorts but then luckily it started raining again today...I need to save that money for .20 cent hot wings at the Landfall this summer.

Newsflash!

I HAVE DISCOVERED THAT WAFFLES SHAPED LIKE TEXAS ARE A THING THAT EXISTS.

If you are even sort of my friend, you know what to get for my birthday. TEXAS WAFFLE IRON. I promise to have a fun brunch as a result.

But I am trying to give you money.

This school's post office only takes "Tiger Bucks."

Tiger Bucks are not real money. This is a post office. I... I don't understand. Do I have to leave campus to mail a 64 cent package?? Does the federal government know about this?

ADDENDUM: I now I have a fear that I won't be able to eat today because I don't have any fake money! I HOPE THAT IS NOT TRUE.

the one where I hate majic 95.5

So, shout out to my fellow Road Warrior for obtaining some rental upgrade coupons for me! I decided this trip was the ideal time to use one, since I had to drive all over the state of texas for 8 days. As soon as I heard the word "Yaris" out of the agent's mouth at the airport, I pulled that bad boy out. And then, after she gave me the upgraded car, she asked how often I traveled. When I told her, she handed the coupon back to me. "You sound like you need this." OH YES. BEATING THE SYSTEM WITH A LITTLE HONESTY, and a touch of pity. I totally deserved it after waiting in line for 30 minutes because a cute but awkward little Japanese businessman who spoke pretty much no English was trying to rent a car and then was unhappy with the rate they were offering him.

BUT THEN IT CAME BACK TO BITE ME. I settled in to my fancy little car, with a fancy little dashboard on which I couldn't figure out how to do anything. Somewhere around the exit to my parents' house I finally realized that I wasn't just an idiot, but that in fact the stupid radio barely worked at all. So, I am in the live music capital of the world, and yet, the only stations I can pick up are Mix 94.7 and Majic 95.5. And there is not even a way to manually tune to a station. SERIOUSLY? Depending on time I am totally going to stop on my way to San Antonio and try and swap that baby out. I have way too far to drive to deal with easy listening the whole way. Maybe they'll upgrade me again, and I'll slowly work my way up to a full-size SUV by next week.

SO ANYWAY, a few brief days in Texas and I already

A) have an awkward v-neck sunburn
B) got to fly kites at the nation's oldest kite festival
C) have eaten almost all of my meals outside JUST BECAUSE I CAN
D) planned a Rodeo Austin adventure (NOTE: I ALMOST DECIDED TO GO SEE ZZTOP AT THE HOUSTON RODEO INSTEAD, BUT DECIDED I COULDN'T POSSIBLY DO THAT ALONE)
D) Had a catch-up session with one of the stars of my senior film, and learned about some good local drama and also that nothing ever really changes here, in a good way
E) have done  most of my work outside, on my parents' deck, in SHORTS.


The hipsters are slowly starting to increase in number due to SXSW starting next week. I'm missing almost all of the festival, but plan to at least schedule some solid people-watching.

LET THE RECORD SHOW: the south is amazing.

Road Warrior

I just survived a 21-hour work day. And I only had to eat dinner 3 times to stay awake for it.

Where is my award?

this is not an exaggeration.

I AM SO EXCITED TO BE GOING TO THE SOUTH THAT I MIGHT NOT SLEEP UNTIL SATURDAY.

Mainly because I have tickets Saturday night to see a live comedy show/mocking of Con Air at the Alamo Drafthouse. I LOVE THE DRAFTHOUSE, AND HATE NICOLAS CAGE. This is going to be perfect. Though, I was sad that I cannot participate in the PeeWee's Big Adventure Bike Drive-in, since I don't have a bike at home. OH WELL.

More importantly: I can pack dresses and flats instead of boots and tights! High of 75, you make professional clothes so much  more fun!